


Mary Sue The Whole Universe

by Most_Likely_Satan



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Because everyone should listen to their doctor, Bucky might be ace, But he might not, Canon Doesn't Exist Here We Die In This Pit Of Denial Like Real Men, Clinic for the Supers, Deadpool will have graphic injuries because he's more human-like than Spidey, F/F, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I don't know what this writing style is called but I love it, I love Gwen Stacy, M/M, Most Times, Multi, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Not Gwen died compliant either, Other, Rating May Change, Regardless of amazing healing prowess, Tags might too tbh, The rest of y'all need a mom, You too Wade, and let's face it these idiots need to be treated like toddlers half the time, not always, not you Peter we love you
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 13:10:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12458469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Most_Likely_Satan/pseuds/Most_Likely_Satan
Summary: (Or How To (Somewhat) Single-Handedly Change The Fate Of Your Current Universe)Because the entire Marvel universe (Among MANY others) frustrated me into writing a logical badass to metaphorically slap these idiots upside the head and physically stitch them back together (Sometimes literally)





	Mary Sue The Whole Universe

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The start of something amazing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12213141) by [Mysana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysana/pseuds/Mysana). 
  * Inspired by [patchwork people](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11904594) by [itsallAvengers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsallAvengers/pseuds/itsallAvengers). 



> Trigger warning in endnotes for Deadpool reasons
> 
> That being said, I fucking hated Civil War on sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many levels I cannot physically handle it so without further ado we are going to blatantly disregard and ignore that entirely because if you know me you know I will rant for months on end about that movie. I mean Steve actually keeping that kind of secret????????? Everyone else (Because Steve is not the only other person that knew I will physically fight you) keeping that kind of a secret?????????? I don't fucking think so.
> 
> I might not write this in chronological order just warning you but I will try to keep it in some modicum of order

Emerald Green would like you to know that until the day she opened her clinic she had not planned a single thing that happened in her life. Changing her name? Coincidence. Moving to New York? She got into a nice grad school. Studying to be a doctor? Her mother insisted.

Walking down the street and witnessing a man who appears to be missing a hand- Nope, he's holding the detached appendage (Is that the right word she idly wonders) in his other hand, and there's a guy in a weird red suit (Emerald does not now, did not then, and will not ever remember to watch the news without help. She didn't even know Obama was president until his re-election.) holding up the man in a different red suit.

She definitely didn't plan to bring the guys into the building her grandmother left her last week with a note saying to do what you can, and what you should my Jewel. But hey that's life, you plan to go check out the place (That was opened for you by your dead grandmother who only saw you on birthdays because she had more important things (Emerald would like you to know that she is not bitter, as she too believes saving lives is a little more important than flying down to LA to visit family. Her mother is bitter though. Somewhat. She (Her mother, Argent) gets it, she just didn't like it.

"So, you need help with that hand mister whoever you are, and mister whoever you are's friend?" Emerald is a very quiet, sneaky person so it does not surprise her that they both jump. It only surprises her a little when they agree. It surprises her a lot when men holding guns decide to point them at her clinic (And it most certainly is her's dammit) think it is a brilliant idea. (Emerald would like to add a disclaimer that it is not a brilliant idea to point anything destructive towards anything she owns. Or anyone. It's just not done. Ask Harry if you don't believe her.)

Anyone that knows her is not surprised by the green fog going from her hands and into every single gunman's body via whatever she can sense, nor when she casually says. "You have fifteen minutes to jump into a big body of water before you die slowly and painfully." At least five of the seventeen (She, Emerald counted) scream like little girls. At least three who later become guards of her clinic will protest vehemently to this fact until she brings up the recordings.

Later a man she hasn't seen since she was sixteen (Nick Fury, long story, Avengers recruitment process. She, Emerald decided she was not ready. He, Nick understood.) will come and hand her a contract. She will read over it in precisely thirteen minutes and forty-nine seconds before signing, and handing it back. She will then walk him out, and flip the sign to open.

(Emerald would like to inform you that she did indeed plan to be A Doctor of Heroes.)

Let it be known the becoming an avenger part-time, and singlehandedly stopping Civil War from coming to fruition (Long story) was also one-hundred and ten percent planned. After all, anyone who saw that shit-storm everyone would try to do something about it. (Emerald has gotten ahead of herself. She still has a hand to sow back on.)

As Emerald cleans her glasses, tells the (Incredibly mysterious, but apparently her, Emerald's, grandmother hired her, Louis.) Louis, it's time to open up, and she'll be with her first patient. She (Emerald) will abruptly turn and walk away with her shiny glasses reflecting whatever sunlight is shining through windows, and the wind seemingly caressing the tails of her custom-made (By her grandfather's tailor, a family friend.) lab coat.

Louis, (whose name is pronounced Loo-ease thank you very much,) will make sure to set up the proper adjustments, and idly wonder if she has some form of spellwork done on her(Emerald's) coat to make it flow just right.

Emerald did no such thing. She merely admired Snape's beautifully dramatic exit. (Emerald would like to add another disclaimer that she has never, nor, or even especially after attaining those two degrees in psychology like that man. All that brilliance wasted the potential. Honestly, the thought disgusts her that he be so upset that others have ease of making potions.)

Wade will be the first to tell you he makes bad decisions. He probably was the first person to tell you honestly. However, he would like to believe he was a good judge of character. (Wade would like you to not include that one time he was held hostage at a "medical" retreat and got tortured. Wade understands if you don't though.)

Regardless when he tells Peter (Because they're at that stage, the day Wade found out was an interesting day, to say the least) to agree he feels particularly good when Peter decides to trust her.

(Peter would like to point out that Wade is an excellent judge of character, he just doesn't trust his instincts enough. Peter would like to state that he has literal Superpowers of Judgment™ and is good at listening to these things.)

When Wade notices the manic looking doctor, and her clipboard observing him he idly wonders how long she's been there (Seven seconds. She, Emerald just really enjoys dramatics, and practises them as though they are an art of which she cannot undo. Basically it's habit after doing it since she was, ironically seven.) and what she thinks she'll get out of them. (Emerald could get literally anything out of them with direct eye contact. That's why she wears glasses.)

"Your preferred names please?" She says as she walks into the room adding a few obvious details (Height, general weight, etc.) "Um uh Spiderman, and uh Deadpool." (Peter is shocked there's someone, in New York City no less that doesn't know his name. Which is quite understandable)

"Mkay, age Mister Deadpool? And sex?" (Emerald hates asking that last one but is sadly necessary when someone has bullets in their stomach and chest. At least he was already laying down.) "Twenty-three according to marvel canon."

(Wade will be very shocked perhaps even past his death at her response.) "Right, I assume Mister Spiderman is nearly the same according to them then. Alright, I'm going to put you under while I do this, so go put this on, and then follow me." Peter, sweet summer child that he so adorably is has no idea what they're talking about.

"How?" (If Emerald has finally found a way to somewhat quiet the infamous Merc with a mouth, she may celebrate later) "That's what happens when you fuck with magic while you're pregnant, now, off you go."

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings are as follows: Deadpool. Threats of slow death to "peasants". This will be typical, I doubt I'll have the mental/physical ability to write something worse.
> 
> *Waving hands at work* So what did you think of the writing style I doný know the name of? Of the story in general? Etc.?


End file.
